Pooja's Big Fat Indian Wedding!

So excited! So excited! We're in India!!! I've had a long-time India crush. It started somewhere in high school with my first dip of naan into palak paneer, which I loved and only later learned that paneer is cheese. The crush grew when wearing a sari for the first time for a friend’s wedding 10 years ago (still can't believe Courtney squeezed me into her blouse!). And here we are -- in India!

A few months ago, a friend invited us to her wedding. Pooja works with Brian in Baltimore, but decided to return home to Pune, India for her wedding. After squealing (yeah, I'm not a squealer -- it just came out), I started planning the trip. Flying from KL to Mumbai is only a 4 1/2 hour ride, so the trip is totally doable. It’s like living in Baltimore and going out to California for a wedding, except you need a visa. Our living in Kuala Lumpur also made wedding prep logistics relatively easy. Kuala Lumpur has a substantial Indian population, so shopping for wedding attire consisted of a trip down to the Brickfields section of town. A big - HUGE - thank you to our friend, Abhi, for spending several hours shopping with us while we labored over wedding clothing selections. Well, we labored - the kids played hide and seek in the enormous fabric shop. Abhi steered us to the right outfits (the dude can totally pick out an awesome sari) and away from not so great options (like strongly advising Brian to just wear slacks and not buy traditional pants). In the end, we each purchased two outfits. I bought a blue silk sari and a purple and gold beaded langa (skirt with a fitted top). While saris are worn in many styles, they are traditionally a long single piece of fabric wrapped around the waist with pleats gathered in the front. Over a cropped blouse, the remainder of fabric is pleated and worn over the left shoulder or up over the head. After selecting a sari, I visited a tailor to get my sari blouse made. This was also an experience since the tailor had limited English, although he was clear in advising me to go with the "sexy back" blouse style. Here I make a confession. I also asked the tailor to pre-sew my sari bottom. The tailor takes the sari and sews in the bottom pleats to a petticoat making it absurdly simple to put on.

Our India trip is divided into two parts, several days of wedding celebrations in Pune and then a tour in the northern part of the country. Since we are relaxing in the hotel tonight with all the amazing wedding experiences wrapped up, Brian and I figured we'd write a blog post about this portion of the trip.

We like to say that everything is an adventure and getting to Pune was certainly no exception. The flight from KL to Mumbai (Bombay) was relatively uneventful, although Brian did have an easy, “Excuse me sir, are you a doctor?” experience. The adventure really started after our arrival in Mumbai. Pooja kindly arranged a driver to pick us up at our 11:00 pm arrival at the Mumbai airport and drive us to Pune. Leaving the airport around midnight, Mumbai was still a rage of activity with crazy traffic and people up walking the streets. It also offered a glimpse at the often-discussed extreme poverty in Mumbai as every overpass housed people seeking shelter while they slept on the streets. Brian asked the driver how long it would take to get to Pune, and we were shocked when he said we'd be driving 3 to 4 hours. We somehow thought it was about a 1 1/2 hour drive. The drive was surreal. It was single handedly the craziest driving experience we've ever had. I made a poor assumption that driving at night would be free of traffic. Wrong. It was prime truck transit time for bringing goods out of Mumbai and up over the hills. I read that India driving is "sound, spectacle, and experience" – I agree. On a winding, four-lane highway (kind of), our driver skillfully threaded our car between passing trucks. For hours. We’d be driving down a highway and then suddenly come to a full stop to go over speed bumps (on a highway?). Throw in some livestock and dogs to dodge, not to mention an occasional curiously placed barrier, and it was like the best video game car race ever. The trucks themselves were painted with vibrant colors, lots of shining chrome, and large signs saying, “Please honk.” And honk we did. With every passing car or truck we’d let out a string of honks. But we arrived in Pune unharmed. Our driver, hopped up on adrenaline and strong tea, bid us farewell and jumped back in the car for his trip back to Mumbai.

Our invitation to Pooja's wedding activities extended over three days. On Friday after some last minute shopping (Violet needed bangles!), we joined Pooja and her family at the Mehndi Ceremony. This is the ceremony in which the bride is adorned with henna designs on her hands and feet. The women at the celebration can also be hennaed up, so of course we joined in. A bit of a break from tradition, Pooja's fiancé, Akshay, also attended the Mehndi to spend some time and meet Pooja's family and friends. We were so glad to meet him.

While it is mostly women getting the mehndi designs, Tyler wanted a "tattoo" too!

Saturday morning was the Puja Ceremony for Pooja. This is a religious ceremony for only the bride and her family to prepare the bride for marriage. We felt so honored to be invited to attend. We joined the family for a delicious lunch in Pooja’s family home in which it is traditional to serve five sweets. Of course, Violet totally enjoyed this meal! Food crosses culture in so many ways. Just as Brian’s mom overfeeds our friends with Italian food, Pooja’s mother and aunties kept refilling our plates until I thought I’d pop all the beading on my shirt from being stuffed with deliciousness!  We had to announce that we were having seconds (and thirds) so they would actually believe that we had eaten.

After returning to the hotel to relax and research dinner options, we found that a new brewpub recently opened a few minutes ride from the hotel. To get around town, we flagged down an auto-rickshaw (just called an "auto"), India's version of Cambodia's tuk-tuk or Philippines’ tricycle. The autos even have meters, which didn’t stop the drivers from trying to haggle with us as tourists. Traffic in Pune was nowhere near as crazy as driving to Pune, but was still filled with noisy honking. From an auto you see, hear, smell, and just feel a place in a different way than in a car. I really enjoyed these rides. Returning to our hotel we caught some World Cup action at the hotel bar.

Then it was wedding day! The invitation said it was an 11:40 am start, but Pooja explained to us that the family actually arrives at 8:30 am to start the rituals. Again, we were honored to be counted among family. Pooja and her mother were super kind and gave us each a wedding outfit. Several months ago, Pooja asked for our measurements. From getting my blouse made, I had an indiscernible string of 15 numbers, no labels -- just numbers, that I emailed to Pooja. She gave these to her tailor who said that yes, these numbers totally meant something to him. Yep, they must have because the blouse fit amazingly well! However, I panicked when realizing that this sari wasn't pre-sewn. Yikes! How the heck was I supposed to dress myself for the wedding? Answer: YouTube. Thank you “Good Indian Girl” for the easy-to-follow sari how-to videos. And also a thank you to one of the family that pinned me in place after arriving at the wedding.

The wedding was beautiful! The ladies’ saris were a sea of rich and vibrant colors threaded with golds. Pooja’s family made sure we were well fed and also narrated the ceremony, teaching us the significance of the many rituals. Tyler particularly liked the tradition where Pooja’s male cousins gave Akshay’s ear a good pulling – just a way of saying be good to Pooja, 'cause the guys have her back! Congratulations, Pooja and Akshay. And thank you, Pooja for inviting us to your wedding and arranging for all our travel. And a huge thank you to your mother, sister, brother-in-law, and all the many, many family that embraced us and fed us and made us feel at home.

Already, India is all the color, sound, and vibrancy that I imagined. And I can’t help but love a place in which you get decked out in a blue and gold silk dress and a ton of bling then slip on your flip flops. My kind of dress up. Now off to Delhi to begin our tour of north India.

Pooja's family photo. Check out the blond in the bottom right!